Thnx Liz

I got a message the other day to moderate a comment on my blog,   wo…(dramatic pause) I totally forgot I had a blog.

I think my last post was at least 3 and a half years ago!  So, Mr. Forgetful where the hell you been?  Well, actually thinking back I have at least a couple of really good excuses that do involve hell.

In the midst of counseling a close friend who was losing  a battle with her self, over and over; she felt like she had to have someone else love her or there was no reason to exist in this hell she inherited (at least in part because of an abusive childhood) and I didn’t want to see her suffer or die- my other best friend suddenly had a breakdown and ended up in  a mental hospital, on drugs, then sent home never the same again.  So he went to a firing range and shot himself in the head, later I would come to find this is what some in my community refer to as a “peace out”.  Despite what they say one out of two is bad.

She is doing a lot better, but I loved that man a lot and still think about him all the time.  I wished I could have done more.

What a terrible mess back then, running through the streets with no shoes, breaking things, the police and hospitals, interventions and assaults, and I was the sane one!  SO much!!  While I went through my own hell, trying to be strong and not let this thing snow ball any more, because there were others who died during this time also, I eventually turned to writing a book of poetry to try and write my way out of my head and the pain literally screaming at my door.  I forgot about this project,  the documenting of a life whilst rebuilding this super destroyed house in Detroit, so the blog just went to sleep for a long time.

I  didn’t stop working on the house though and have made major progress but things have changed, I mean really changed.  It’s kinda like a RIP Van Winkle feeling, anyway… 2: roommates, girlfriends, woodstoves, collectives, published books, dogs (actually I had BOB for about a week before these current 2) and 2 other dead friends later, approaching a 4 year hiatus, I’m back! …  and I think it’s gonna be good.